So this incident happened in beginning of 2017 and now it’s almost mid of 2018. I couldn’t think of this incident without throwing myself into a pool of anger and distress. Our conversation then happened in such a rush, that I couldn’t really frame my response and I had to leave the room with a tang of some hurting thoughts in my mind.
What bothers me is not his behavior at that time, but how I could have handled the situation better because somewhere I had already felt that the fizz of mortification bubbling up within me, as I listened and left the room. I could have responded then and there.
So, more than a year had passed and I still found myself sailing in the same boat of my hurt feelings, when that incident crossed my mind. I was upset and sad because I was responsible for hurting myself and it was something that was popping time and again.
But recently I happened to listen to Eckhart Tolle, the modern day spiritual guru and writer of the interinternational best seller ‘The Power of Now’ and that kind of relaxed my mind.
The reason I was gravitated into this pool of grief every time the thought of that incident crossed my mind was ,because I was guilty and I couldn’t account for my behavior to myself.
But Eckhart, says one shouldn’t feel guilty, as one behaved at that moment according to one’s consciousness and awareness at that time. One didn’t know any better way then.
Also, as Maya Angelou, the world renowned poetess says, ‘ When you know better, you do better’.
The words of these highly revered people put my mind to ease. I had performed in that incident to best of my ability, the best I could do. So, there’s no point of getting upset again and again because of the guilt. Now, that I have learnt it through a bitter way, I will respond better the next time or you can say, respond in the best way I know or my consciousness knows at that moment. This awareness, kind of freed me from the guilt. It really did help him.
Here’s the link of the video, that helped me.
I hope this article and the video shared help you in some way.
Thanks for reading !