The Dearest Decision

The rush of the overspeeding desires in my mind came to a halt , when I took a 4 month break to chase them.

During the last few days of this break, I realised that I didn’t have the stamina required to run at their speed. I wasn’t prepared.

Since then I have been relishing the pleasant breeze of contentment.

Have I stopped chasing my desires?

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To be continued in the next blog…

Thanks for reading!!

Hope to see you again !

 

The Morning Miss

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On my daily journey to my place of work, I don’t really pay attention to the trees lined up on either side of the road. Most of the days, I am worried on how the day would go. And on other days, I am just planning my day during my morning commute. And this anxiety of mine, this habit of mine to play the events in my mind before they get played in real life, make me oblivious to the ever present calmness of nature. I miss this part of connecting with the nature almost daily.

On my way back, I am ,more often than not, conscious about the swaying of trees and the sun set. So, just once in a day, I feel something about my presence, because I feel the presence of nature in the evening.

But what if, the morning passes without me noticing any trees and the evening never shows up for me?

Also, so far, I have seen on almost every occassion, no matter how less I am prepared for the day or no matter how much worried I am, the things of concern, the things that steal the ‘now’ from me, are always taken care of, that is, they always go right somehow. There is some power operating which knows just the right thing for me. (I know it is too good and even sounds too good, to be true, however, things are just always moving in the right direction ). So all my worries and plannings (at the wrong time) don’t really serve any puropse, except one, that I miss the viridscent shade of trees.

Yes, I have to learn to relax my mind in the morning as well, I can’t just live half my life.

Yes. Yes. Healing is a daily process.

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Thanks for reading !!!

 

Tiny steps

Something pinched my ego yet again.

So many times, I have repeated this lesson (related to the situation)with myself, yet evertime I forget what I learnt and end up in pain and sadness. My mood changes at the drop of a hat, when something clashes with my pretentious layers.

However, the good part is something is shifting in me. Ofcourse, the lesson is learnt by my mind every single time my false self gets hurt and the lesson has a permanent residence in the conscious part of the brain now. (It’s been years since I have been repeating the lesson.) However, the lesson was not absorbed by the soul and the heart. But now, I see it making its way into the heart and  soul. It has started taking tiny steps. And, I am quite elated.What would earlier take days to heal, now heals in a span of some hours and even minutes.

I am in all gratitude for getting such situations, again and again. (Such situations don’t please me, but I know, they are vital, for me to be what I have to be). Because, I know, soon the essence of the lesson will be the part of my heart and soul.

Yes, Journey of a thousand miles begin with the first step and I am glad, that I have been walking some steps not that frequently, but yes, occasionally.

Yes, the tiny steps.

Yes, yes, Healing is a daily process.

 

#gratitude

One and only

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Tears welled up in her eyes

as she stared at me in anguish

Warm tears rolled down my eyes,

affirming how deeply Sorry I was,

seeing her hurt and scathed

I knew,

I  hardly held her hand tightly,

losing parts of her everywhere

I knew,

I had cheated on her

by giving her anything less than what she truly deserved

She deserved the garden and its feathers

I knew,

I had failed to put the armor on,

when she longed to safeguard her heart and feelings,

she gave too much

and now,

the emptiness flowed in her heart

Warm tears rolled down

her cheeks,

as she screamed ,

You were the only one 

I could count on’

………

#self love

 

 

 

 

 

Hottest months of Compassion

The months of May and June, besides being the hottest months , are the months of Compassion, Love and Kindness.

 

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Chabeel being offered on the road

 

If you see a crowded road or a street; if you see cars, scooters, autos,cycles, buses and what not, lined up all the way; then you know that the chabeel (sweet drink ) is nearby. Every year and every time, I see this, my heart smiles. This selfless act of serving cold and sweet chabeel in this scorching heat is a respite to many. Through such benevolent acts of serving, sharing and giving , we are connecting with our humanness and creating the atmoshphere of love and gratitude.

All of this began after, the sixth Guru of Sikhs, Guru Arjan Dev Ji, was tortured in the month of June around 400 years back. He was made to sit on a burning hot iron plate and in boiling water, while hot sand was poured over his body because he had refused to stop preaching his message of God.

It’s his sacrifice that has tranformed into these selfless acts of kindness and service.

May there be more and more of kindness, compassion and gratitude in all of us !!! And we all, always remember, what it means to be human.

 

Bout with Surrender

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They both

put the blame

on each other

But I was the witness,

I knew,

neither of them was wrong,

the situation was.

The maladaptive  form

that

if one is right

then the other has to be wrong

is so deeply engrained in our system

that we cannot come to fact with the term

that at times

no one is wrong

everyone is right

it’s just that

the situation is playing games with us

I tried elucidating the matter to both of them

but something mystic

made all  my sentences incoherent

I felt so helpless

What could I do?

How could I do?

When could I do?

I surrendered.

For sure,

I and they have lessons to learn

Once, we learn them,

may be,

my sentences will become

coherent,

may be,

they will understand each other

,or may be , 

I will lose 

another bout

to Surrender

as there might be

something more to learn.

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Thanks for reading !

Ruddy

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I fired at him suggestions,
hinting, he won’t be able to do it.
He seemed poise and said,
I will do it.
My cheeks turned ruddy.
I felt his energy shoving against mine.
I felt so tenuous at that moment.
I wished to run and bury myself somewhere.
What was I thinking?
Did I just challenge his belief?
Now, I just wish to see his belief win.
Because if that intense energy can’t win,
I don’t know what will.