Few days back, my Mom and I went to Golden Temple, located in Amritsar, Punjab, India. It is one of the most revered sites for Sikhs and over a lakh people visit it daily.
Golden Temple has four entrances, depicting the openness towards all people and has a free community kitchen that serves all regardless of any distinction. You will see people from all walks of life there being treated equally. All have to sit on the floor to have to have the meal (langar).
All are equal.
( So why you will be ever rejected? )
On our way back from Amritsar, we had our seats behind a modern young teen couple in the bus. In most part of their journey, they wore their funky glares, and clicked selfies. They were so cute.
Anyway, my mom found the girl very beautiful. When I saw the girl, I found her just normal. When the bus stopped, mom again pointed that how beautiful were her eyes, and I reluctantly said a ‘yes’.
Also, I never really get the fixation people have with eyes. I don’t really see eyes showing any emotions, but I have had quite a few people in my life who have tried to explain to me how eyes speak more than the words that come from the mouth or to say the least convey hidden emotions, but again their words fall on my deaf years, as I haven’t experienced much of it, so I can’t really relate to it. However, I really don’t deny the special traits of the eyes that help us not only in seeing but also projecting the emotions, as many poets and shayars, have spoken about them, written amazing songs on them, so something like this perhaps would exist.
So, coming back to the story, the girl was beautiful not for me but for my mom. I found her just normal.
So did I just reject the girl ?
Beauty is such a personal choice and perspective , not only in terms of physical aspects but also in terms of the internal aspects.
That is why, some people will like ,accept and appreciate the way you are and others might not.
Not every one will see you as a jar of nutella.
Not being beautiful in eyes of someone else will only hurt you, if you have not really liked, accepted and appreciated the way you are.
If you are a person made out of self love, you would be Ok, even if others say you are ‘Ugly’.
And here is why you will feel ‘ Ok ‘,
The elixir is that the definition of beauty varies from person to person. Not being seen as beautiful by someone doesn’t make you any less beautiful.
Just like my mom found the girl to be gorgeous, however for me she was just the simple girl next door. Our perceptions of beauty were different, and the point is if my mom’s and my opinion about her beauty internal or external were shared with the girl, the girl should have remained unperturbed, because it’s just a perception.
Anything that is created by the higher power, in no way is less.
So, how could the girl be any less.
This brings to me the arranged marriage system of the Indian society, especially, the middle class, where people assume that they have a right to choose and reject somebody. Things have changed with modern times, but still I see some cases here and there where things turn up somewhat bad for the girl or the boy’s self esteem if they don’t happen to be the chosen ones. Hysterical.Weird.;! How can someone even think that they have the right to reject other person?
So does this rejection actually happen or we take things in the wrong way??
Most of the times, people actually feel dejected after their rejection at the so called arranged marriage proposal or you talk about any rejection in relation general.
First of all, the right thing to say is that there is no thing as rejection in a marriage proposal or in a relationship proposal. The only thing is matching. The match was not the right one.
What we need to be aware of is that one is not being rejected or marked with a lifetime tag of undesirable.
It’s just that the definition of beauty, whatever it may be physical, internal, materialistic, of both the parties didn’t match.
Yes.Yes. Yes. This is it. Stop putting the unnecessary burden on yourself of your inadequacy.
I have seen people crying themselves to sleep, just because of this, what they think is their rejection.
It’s only that the definition of beauty of you and the other person,didn’t match. You don’t have to believe that anything was less in you.
Let me say the main point, again , so that whoever needs it( we all need it at some point ), can absorb it fully. ‘ The definition of beauty of both the parties didn’t match. The way the other sees beauty and the way you see beauty is different. It wasn’t something you both were looking for.’
Not being taken after the arranged marriage meeting, doesn’t make you worth less. It’s only the perception difference.
It’s a all a game of perceptions, I may or may not perceive you beautiful and my perception however, good or bad it may be, shouldn’t have the power to make your belief in yourself any less.
Something as fickle as a perception, shouldn’t be able to shake your belief.
Self love is the key that fits in all the locks.
Self love is a daily practice. It is about being aware of how many times one puts oneself down, has self sabotaging thoughts and affirming the thoughts of self love in those very moments.
It’s about learning to give yourself the unconditional love that you seek from others. Yes, love yourself. We all need love and it is all within you. You need not go searching out somewhere. Practice love every single moment. Your world will change for the better, if you just love yourself, you deserve it totally and unconditionally.
You are always beautiful and what others say is just a perception, which will mostly keep on changing.
You can never be rejected. You are pure love, only if you feel that way.
We were all created by the most powerful, how can we be anything less than whole.
We are all accepted only if we accept ourselves.
Thank you for dropping by !And good luck for your journey of Self Love.We are all walking different paths but our paths might cross somewhere. See you there !