I didn’t know there was someone more nervous than me, when I was leaving my hometown for the first time, until recently when she shared it with me.
‘ I got a severe headache, and was unable to sleep. I was anxious and nervous galore. I was wondering how would you survive in the town where you knew no one. But all my fears were dispelled when I started chanting the sacred verses.’, said my grandmother.
Her belief in the higher power, makes her stronger to set us free.
I fared goodbye to all family members, and when I hugged her the last time before leaving, while unwrapping my arms, I noticed she was on the verge of crying. She showered some blessings onto me, and I noticed that her tears had made up their way into her voice. Tears welled up in my eyes, I avoided her gaze, and quickly ran towards the taxi. I couldn’t cry in front of her.
She had set me free in her world; This was the beginning, she had set herself free from us.
Never the answer to any of these questions would be the same. Our thinking is primarily based upon who we are, and since, we all our different, we will never think the same. And probably, there is no point in even trying to impressing the thoughts of someone. Because the angle through which the other is thinking, you are not even close to it.
So, next time you overthink, just try to consciously notice the question, in which you are trapped in, and trust me, once you start understanding that you are being trapped, you will dispel all the fears, frustrations, overwhelming emotions and irritations with that smile of yours, which will show up, because this time, you would have cut the mustard by circumnavigating the trap through your awareness and consciousness.
So this incident happened in beginning of 2017 and now it’s almost mid of 2018. I couldn’t think of this incident without throwing myself into a pool of anger and distress. Our conversation then happened in such a rush, that I couldn’t really frame my response and I had to leave the room with a tang of some hurting thoughts in my mind.
What bothers me is not his behavior at that time, but how I could have handled the situation better because somewhere I had already felt that the fizz of mortification bubbling up within me, as I listened and left the room. I could have responded then and there.
So, more than a year had passed and I still found myself sailing in the same boat of my hurt feelings, when that incident crossed my mind. I was upset and sad because I was responsible for hurting myself and it was something that was popping time and again.
But recently I happened to listen to Eckhart Tolle, the modern day spiritual guru and writer of the interinternational best seller ‘The Power of Now’ and that kind of relaxed my mind.
The reason I was gravitated into this pool of grief every time the thought of that incident crossed my mind was ,because I was guilty and I couldn’t account for my behavior to myself.
But Eckhart, says one shouldn’t feel guilty, as one behaved at that moment according to one’s consciousness and awareness at that time. One didn’t know any better way then.
Also, as Maya Angelou, the world renowned poetess says, ‘ When you know better, you do better’.
The words of these highly revered people put my mind to ease. I had performed in that incident to best of my ability, the best I could do. So, there’s no point of getting upset again and again because of the guilt. Now, that I have learnt it through a bitter way, I will respond better the next time or you can say, respond in the best way I know or my consciousness knows at that moment. This awareness, kind of freed me from the guilt. It really did help him.
Here’s the link of the video, that helped me.
I hope this article and the video shared help you in some way.
How did you find it? Seeing the above image people have myriads of opinions and suggestions. Some like it and some don’t. Yet in the vortex of appreciation and criticism, the young Canadian singer and songwriter, Justin Bieber’s caption, is already, ready with the answer to one and all. He loves his tattoos, he knows the hard work that has gone into it, and in all, he somehow manages to say, that whatever anyone has to say, he is least bothered. ( I wouldn’t take back a single one, he says.)
People have on their bodies something that is significant and dear to them and really matters to them a lot. The Tattoo could be of :
– a person,a symbol of faith, some adage
– a beautiful memory, an accomplishment, a moment they wish to relish always
-their goals and dreams, their vision and even something symbolising the pain and the rebellion.
A person gets inked to express who he is, in the way that he knows the best.
It’s an expression. It’s an art. It’s creativity.
Every tattoo has a meaning for his owner.
Yet, things are not always taken in the good light. People spew harsh words at times seeing such art forms on the body.
Similarly one of my friends, wanted to have an ear piercing, conch peircing to be precise.
What she wanted to be and how she wanted to look, was the talk of the house. No one opposed her decision, yet none was happy.
‘ I don’t think it’s appropriate. Wouldn’t it be too gaudy for the normalcy? Are you here to study or for such things?’ , were the general remarks of her people.
Having opinions is one thing and targeting the character of the person, for such personal choices is another.
It’s weird and hysterical that people even want the expression and the creativity to be in defined boundaries.
The above image is a testimony to the fact that few people even categorise Expression and Creativity as decent and not so decent and hurl venomous remarks that may take quite a long time to fade away.
I guess definition of ‘Expression’ at its pinnacle is Lady Gaga in her designed outfits.
Lady Gaga, is an American singer, known for her unconventional and provocative work. She downright admits that she is bossy and she can go to any length to pull off the show of her dreams, and she adds that her creative expression ( her music, her outfits) is all she got.
All her ways of expressing herself may look crazy, may seem insane, but still she manages to shake or at least tingle something in people.
She shows what it means to be free. We manage to see her free spirit through her work and her personality, which inspires us to become the same.
I know, we don’t want to be the next Lady Gaga, but somewhere we seek to have her vulnerability and her courage.
Isn’t it empowering to see someone crossing the defined border lines of normalcy? Just being able to see such form of expression, shifts something in people, that makes them confident about their own work and art.
Lady Gaga believes in her work, no matter how absurd it is for others, and this is what she teaches us through her work, to break the invisible shackles that are holding us back to normalcy and mediocrity. (Sometimes, I wonder who decides what is normal and what isn’t.) Here, I am not saying to have over the top, exaggerated version of yourself ( But go for it, if that’s your calling). Just believe in your work, what you really want to do and go for it. Don’t wear masks and be pretentious to be in the good books of others. Had Lady Gaga done that, we wouldn’t have been talking about her here. She would just have been another shadow of the society.
Oprah Winfrey, one of the most influential and admired public figures who have entertained, enlightened amd uplifted millions of viewers, also admires Lady Gaga.
Oprah says, ‘I have deep appreciation and respect for not only what she does but for who she is. ‘
She further adds,
‘Her real gift is when we see her, we can see ourselves in her.
When you watch her, you can see your own personal ways of expressing yourself or lack of ability to express yourself could be manifested through her.’
The message Lady Gaga has for people, is just the right thing to hear any day, it’s simple yet profound,
‘ I want them to be proud of who they are, and I want them to celebrate all the things that they don’t like about themselves, the way that I did. ‘
Yes. Yes. This is it. Celebrate yourself, your individuality in the ways you want to. Be free.
My first response , when someone says , ‘Be free’, is, ‘What or who is holding me back? I am already free.’
Yes, I think I am free. I make my own decisions, I have my own plans, more often than not I follow my heart.
Yet, in those particular situations, in those specific moments, that come every now and then, there comes a lesson which says,’ Whom am I trying to fool? I am not really free.’ I am not free of the judgements that I and others inflict upon me ( because they affect me). I am not free of self sabotaging thoughts. I am not free of self-criticism. I haven’t freed myself enough to say a ‘No’, without explaining my ‘No’.
This question might help few of us, ‘What is it, that in some moments, you feel upset, frustrated and stressed out about?’ Stop reading for a few moments. Just think.
Got the answer? If ‘No’, continue reading. If yes, dig a little deeper, there is a chance, you may find something that you want to set yourself free of.
Yes, right there. You need to set yourself free of it, the inhibitions, the fears, the patterns, the habits that are ingrained in your system that prevent you from freely expressing yourself. But wait, more often than not it isn’t an instantaneous process rather it’s a continuous and gradual process.
Just like, it takes many sittings to cure the dental problems. ( Yeah, I have been going to my dentist lately, so this eccentric example ). Similarly, Freeing yourself will also take some time and patience from your end.It will require effort as well, as you might feel that you are doing something wrong in the beginning, because our conditioning has always been to be a part of the herd. (Let’s leave it for another day and blog).
So, yeah, express yourself through your choices(even your tattoos, your piercings, your outfits)your art, your creativity without any inhibitions. It is who you are.
In the end, it all comes down to,
‘ You need to be more of yourself ‘.
And to all, let’s help all to be more of themselves by not being judgemental and by using kind words.